We met 2 years ago today. I can't believe it. I also can't believe we 'met'. You feel so born to us, you're so naturally our little boy. It feels we've known you your whole life.
We went out and celebrated with frozen yoghurt at your favourite place. Your had vanilla with smarties on the top. I had a chocolate & vanilla mix. From where you normally sit, you can see the TV screens in the Disney Store, so after we finished our yoghurts, we went for a walk around the Disney Store. You chose a hula hoop with lots of sparkle and pictures of Rapunzel & Pascal on it.
Unfortunately Daddy had to work, so couldn't be with us, but I sent him a picture we had taken at the yoghurt bar.
We had such a lovely time xxx
17 February 2012
20 January 2012
Updates
The change in DS1 has been phenomenal. He no longer licks floors / doors / furniture (thank goodness), he talks for the world, and is exceptionally bright. Yesterday he climbed his Gruffalo Trunki, in order to put his bedroom light on..!
He knows all his colours, his numbers to 15, and how to operate most of the equipment in the house. He has full-blown reasoned conversations with us, and argues exceptionally well.
He's just turned 2.5yrs old.
Life is only going to continue to get more interesting ;)
He knows all his colours, his numbers to 15, and how to operate most of the equipment in the house. He has full-blown reasoned conversations with us, and argues exceptionally well.
He's just turned 2.5yrs old.
Life is only going to continue to get more interesting ;)
17 January 2012
Happy Feet 2
Today DS1 and I went to the cinema to see Happy Feet 2 (his 4th cinema experience). I have an Insider card so assumed it would be cheaper. Well, I ended up being cheaper than DS1! £10.50 later, we were in the cinema.
On our own.
DS1 looked a little concerned, but was more than happy to have his pick of seats. I assumed that people would come in late.
Nope. Just us. What a brilliant experience! The film was great (I really didn't rate the first 'Happy Feet'), and DS1 and I were able to converse during it too ("What's that orange, Mummy?" 'That's krill, DS1' "What's krill?.." and so on).
I worked out, on leaving, that whilst I'm home, the best time to go during term time, is Wednesday. Orange Wednesday's make it £6.50 for both of us. Definitely an improvement on £10.25, and even more of an improvement on the standard £12.25. (I must be old, I think the prices are ridiculous!)
On our own.
DS1 looked a little concerned, but was more than happy to have his pick of seats. I assumed that people would come in late.
Nope. Just us. What a brilliant experience! The film was great (I really didn't rate the first 'Happy Feet'), and DS1 and I were able to converse during it too ("What's that orange, Mummy?" 'That's krill, DS1' "What's krill?.." and so on).
I worked out, on leaving, that whilst I'm home, the best time to go during term time, is Wednesday. Orange Wednesday's make it £6.50 for both of us. Definitely an improvement on £10.25, and even more of an improvement on the standard £12.25. (I must be old, I think the prices are ridiculous!)
30 September 2011
Licking
About a month ago, maybe slightly more, DS1 found 'licking'. We had gone to a farm shop and given him his first proper home-made ice-cream, which he loved. After that, DS1 licked everything. I really do mean everything.
So far this has ranged from counters in boots, to floors in Toys R Us, to lampposts. I can only assume it's a texture thing, but so far I think I have been amazed by everything he's chosen to explore!
Last week he started licking me. I wasn't sure what was going on at first, but the cheeky glint in his eye, meant he knew exactly what he was doing doing, and it's become a bit of a game now. He will rush over to me and lick my hand/neck/face, and then run away screaming with giggles shouting 'Your turn lick me, Mummy!'
This is usually done after I've done hair, or sorted my face out. Timing is clearly very important!
He continues to find ways to make me scream with laughter, and this time off from work may be my most treasured time ever :)
So far this has ranged from counters in boots, to floors in Toys R Us, to lampposts. I can only assume it's a texture thing, but so far I think I have been amazed by everything he's chosen to explore!
Last week he started licking me. I wasn't sure what was going on at first, but the cheeky glint in his eye, meant he knew exactly what he was doing doing, and it's become a bit of a game now. He will rush over to me and lick my hand/neck/face, and then run away screaming with giggles shouting 'Your turn lick me, Mummy!'
This is usually done after I've done hair, or sorted my face out. Timing is clearly very important!
He continues to find ways to make me scream with laughter, and this time off from work may be my most treasured time ever :)
6 March 2011
The Fear
So, the fear has set in.
It started because we were going through the paperwork that DS1 will have access to. What will we let him see, what will we not?
We have a folder that age appropriate 0+. We have a folder that's 18+. What about the stuff in the middle? When do we have to tell him what his BM's name is, when do we have to tell him what his birth surname was? Will he go looking? How far will he look?
And all of a sudden I don't feel good enough to be DS1's mum, because I want to protect him, and hold him close and never let him go. Because I don't want him to know info that may hurt him. Info that may cause him to look. Info that may lead to me losing him.
The fear.
Birth parents don't know how lucky they are that they have no reason to experience it.
It started because we were going through the paperwork that DS1 will have access to. What will we let him see, what will we not?
We have a folder that age appropriate 0+. We have a folder that's 18+. What about the stuff in the middle? When do we have to tell him what his BM's name is, when do we have to tell him what his birth surname was? Will he go looking? How far will he look?
And all of a sudden I don't feel good enough to be DS1's mum, because I want to protect him, and hold him close and never let him go. Because I don't want him to know info that may hurt him. Info that may cause him to look. Info that may lead to me losing him.
The fear.
Birth parents don't know how lucky they are that they have no reason to experience it.
31 January 2011
Words
Yesterday, my little boy called me mummy!
Best. Feeling. Ever!
He's just absolutely amazing. chattering all the time, in babble, no proper words yet, but he's so happy and chirpy!
Tantrums have started too - oh my god, how they've started!
He's on his last 2 molars too. His little face is red and swollen, but it doesn't stop his beautiful smile, or the hugs and kisses and giggles and running around the living room with random objects, with a look of glee on his face!
Best. Feeling. Ever!
He's just absolutely amazing. chattering all the time, in babble, no proper words yet, but he's so happy and chirpy!
Tantrums have started too - oh my god, how they've started!
He's on his last 2 molars too. His little face is red and swollen, but it doesn't stop his beautiful smile, or the hugs and kisses and giggles and running around the living room with random objects, with a look of glee on his face!
21 October 2010
"How could you love them when they're not yours?
You can't know until you've had your own..."
Luckily this wasn't said anywhere near me, else I'd have ripped them to pieces, but it's this kind of attitude that worries me. Not for my sake - I have no problem taking people apart when they're talking about a subject they know nothing about. But for DS1.
I'm hoping he will pick up determination and fight from us. That he will be able to stand his ground and throw off the sticks and stones that may be thrown at him. DH and I both got bullied as kids, but we fought back, as opposed to not having the strength to, and being a silent target.
I'm not sure I can coherently organise my thoughts on this one well, because so many sentences and feelings come rushing to the forefront that I'm unable to put them in order.
In a way they're right - I have no idea what it's like to have birth children. I didn't get to bond with DS1 in that way. I didn't get to feel him kick, hear his first scream, carry the weight with him around with me as he grew. In that respect I can't talk from a birth parents point of view. Which is what bothers me. That anybody thinks that just because I didn't give birth to my son, that I have any less right in being a parent, or that my bond with him is weaker for it, infuriates me.
I always knew DS1 was out there. I dreamt him before I knew about him, and I knew it was a matter of timing. Part of me wishes that timing hadn't taken so damn long, but you know - your experiences are what shape you as a person, and I know I'm a hell of a lot stronger for it. I also appear to have become a battle-axe* with regards to DS1.
I'm still trying to get information for SS for him, and I'm not about to bloody stop just because I'm getting fobbed off. As many people know, this only makes me more resolute to be that person hammering on your door at 3am because you have royally annoyed me.
None of our family need pity because we're made out of adoption.
The one thing DS1 can say, is that he is loved. He can say he is special because we chose him. Which is true. We chose him, we wanted him more than anything, and he is loved so fiercely..
* Pitbull/ Rottweiler, any other imagery you can come up with probably fits.
Luckily this wasn't said anywhere near me, else I'd have ripped them to pieces, but it's this kind of attitude that worries me. Not for my sake - I have no problem taking people apart when they're talking about a subject they know nothing about. But for DS1.
I'm hoping he will pick up determination and fight from us. That he will be able to stand his ground and throw off the sticks and stones that may be thrown at him. DH and I both got bullied as kids, but we fought back, as opposed to not having the strength to, and being a silent target.
I'm not sure I can coherently organise my thoughts on this one well, because so many sentences and feelings come rushing to the forefront that I'm unable to put them in order.
In a way they're right - I have no idea what it's like to have birth children. I didn't get to bond with DS1 in that way. I didn't get to feel him kick, hear his first scream, carry the weight with him around with me as he grew. In that respect I can't talk from a birth parents point of view. Which is what bothers me. That anybody thinks that just because I didn't give birth to my son, that I have any less right in being a parent, or that my bond with him is weaker for it, infuriates me.
I always knew DS1 was out there. I dreamt him before I knew about him, and I knew it was a matter of timing. Part of me wishes that timing hadn't taken so damn long, but you know - your experiences are what shape you as a person, and I know I'm a hell of a lot stronger for it. I also appear to have become a battle-axe* with regards to DS1.
I'm still trying to get information for SS for him, and I'm not about to bloody stop just because I'm getting fobbed off. As many people know, this only makes me more resolute to be that person hammering on your door at 3am because you have royally annoyed me.
None of our family need pity because we're made out of adoption.
The one thing DS1 can say, is that he is loved. He can say he is special because we chose him. Which is true. We chose him, we wanted him more than anything, and he is loved so fiercely..
* Pitbull/ Rottweiler, any other imagery you can come up with probably fits.
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