Is this normal?

Is this normal to be this terrified, this scared, this anxious and this worried as an adoptive parent?

Not in a day-to-day setting, (though I admit, I have had my moments), but when you see DS1's birth parent at the bus stop of the village in which you live, about 100yds from your house?




We live in a remote village, not a place you'd go through to get to anywhere else, not a main place of interest, nothing really to see or do, yet there she was. At the bus stop. Chatting.

I nearly crashed the car. I cried. DS1 was in the car and asked what was going on, and I told him I'd seen someone that had upset me a long time ago. He hadn't been looking at the bus stop so didn't realise.

I phoned my husband in blind panic. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to run. Take DS1 and not even bother packing, just drive to a completely different part of the country and start afresh.

No I don't believe he has been stalked, or looked for. But that tiny sliver that's always there nagging in the back of your mind.. it's not going away. I have rung both local schools and asked if there have been any new employees. I've rung the local coffee shop and asked, and now I'm starting to feel crazy.

DS1 is going through so much at the moment that this couldn't have come at a worse time (not that there is ever a good time, really).

I can't hold him close enough, I find myself paying so much more detail to people and places around the village. I'm unsettled, unnerved and suspicious. I want to move. Far far away, because at least previously I knew they never came anywhere near where we lived, but now they've entered my area, my sanctuary, where my home is, where my children are..

Someone tell me this gets easier. Please?