21 June 2009

3rd Session

I found this OK. I told our worker almost immediatey how I'd felt after our last ession. That I'd felt judged, and that her opinion of my childhood ahd been written all over her face. I was quite defensive of my parents. Whatever she thinks of them, and whatever I went through as a kid, I know they only did what they thought was right. I know she has more issues with my Mum not leaving my Dad, with it being unsafe for us, and whereas I don't agree with my Mum's decision I totally understand why she did it.

I am where I am today, for a number of reasons. Regardless of what they are, I am where I am today; in a position of strength, having experienced an awful lot of stuff, which I feel has left me better equipped to deal with any situation.

I was asked whether when kids confide in me, whether I ever get upset. I get upset like anyone would do, of course, because I can empathise - does it tear me to pieces and remind me of what I went through? Not really - I remember bits, I remember how I felt and what I needed most at that time, and I respond accordingly. I don't think that's a bad thing. The workers seem entirely unsure.

Sometimes I wonder whether she has any faith in me at all as a prospective mum. I wonder if that will chainge, or whether she has labelled me already..

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